90+ Best Cactus Puns & Jokes to Make You Smile!

Posted on

If you know someone who loves lighthearted humor and has taken a liking at plants, or cactus in specific, then these cactus puns make the perfect jokes to share with them. This article has compiled a lot of cactus jokes, including puns and one-liners, in case you want to tell others or just to read them for yourself. They are great to send through social media, text messages, or to write on cards.

Throughout the most recent decade, the popularity of cactus has really exploded. It becomes a must-have item of hipster home decoration worldwide – be it in tranquil Japanese cactus gardens, growing middle class households of China, or stylish restaurants and cafes in European countries. The market of cactus and succulents are estimated to be valued tens of millions. Combined, both have increasing sales for about 64%, in only at 2012 – 2017.

You may wonder to whom you can share these puns about cactus. Here are some ideas on who would love these cactus related jokes:

  • Your significant others – Cactus itself is cute, and so are the puns about it. That’s why they would make an adorable addition to the gifts or cards you’re going to send to wives, husbands, girlfriends, or boyfriends who like cactus or plant in general.
  • Your friends – If your friends or colleagues love some puns and also cactus, it will be a good idea to send them cactus-themed cards with written jokes and puns inside.
  • Your crush – The puns about cactus in this article can be used as cute ways to ask out a person that you like, or simply to tell them that you like them.

These provided funny cactus jokes are great to bring a smile or laugh to your family members and friends. They are also great to write on birthday cards or birthday greetings. Even more perfect if you are planning to use these witty puns as a company to a cactus gift to other person.

Best Cactus Puns and Funny Quotes

Best Cactus Puns and Funny Quotes

I once knew a cactus that lived on Sesame Street. I used to call it Prickle me Elmo.

I never really understood cacti, even when they taught us about it at school. I never really got the point of it.

All succulents become a lot more selfish when they are in teams, probably because they become Cact-i from Cact-us.

There was a man who kept calling his wife Cactus every time he saw her, when actually her name was Vera. He said it was quicker than saying, “‘Allo Vera!” every time.

There are a lot of intelligent cacti because cactus parents only know how to raise sharp kids.

Whenever any cacti want to start a family they go to Plant Parenthood.

Whenever an Australian succulent meets any new plant, It says to them, “Aloe there, mate.”

You should try the grilled Aloe Vera when you go to a restaurant. It’s very succulent.

Two cactus best friends participated in a school play and played the role of Batman and Robin. Everyone said they made a prickly pear.

A cactus was going out to dinner with a few of her friends, so she dressed up. Her friend complimented her, she said “You’re looking sharp.”

The two cactus best friends patched up after an ugly fight. One said to the other, “Let’s stick together from now on.”

A cactus got picked for his school football team one day and helped them win their most important match. His teammates all told him later that they were sure glad that they pricked him.

Someone stole the succulent plants from the house next door the other day. That was aloe move.

A man decided to put a few succulents at the front of all his windows. When his wife asked why he did it, he told her, “Because darling, aloe view.”

Whenever a cactus goes for a job interview, they always wear a cactie.

There was once a guy who took an art class that concentrated on cactus photography. He said it was a very pricky subject.

The cactus went to the restaurant one day. He ordered some desert at the end of his meal.

I heard about a man that fell on a cactus the other day. He said he’ll be sure to pay attention a lot more sharply next time.

I once had an enemy whose name was Cactus. He pulled aloe move on me that I could never forget.

You can directly put colors on cacti. You just have to use a Sharpie.

The cactus who was turning 16, decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party. Her friend said “I hope your birthday party planning is on point.”

Two cacti were getting married. The husband cactus said in his vows, “I promise never to desert you.”

The newlywed cactus couple were on their honeymoon. The wife cactus told her husband, “I’m so glad that we pricked each other.”

A cactus once got in a music machine and couldn’t get out of it. The machine kept playing one song on repeat. The cactus later said that he was stuck on the song.

I trusted my cactus, but it seems that he just stabbed me in the back.

The cactus couple threw a Christmas party for the neighborhood, and on the cake, they wrote, “Merry Cactmas.”

The little cactus was worried about being bad at math. Her teacher tried to encourage her by saying, “Don’t worry. Keep trying. Cactus makes perfect.”

The favorite song of every cactus is, ‘Can’t Touch This.’

Sitting around the campfire, a cactus was telling a horror story. Another cactus that was listening intently said, “I’m on pins and needles.”

The cactus forgot his way back home when he decided to go on a solo adventure. He was in quite a prickle.

The cactus went to a hairdresser and got a new haircut because she wanted to be looking sharp for her upcoming interview. The assistant had to prick her hair up from the floor later.

The coach was choosing players for the baseball team. The little overly excited cactus started yelling, “Prick me! Prick me!”

The cactus went to a theme park for the first time in his life. When his friend asked if he liked it, he said, “Of course, that was fan-cactus!”

On the occasion of New Years Eve, cacti wish everyone well by shouting, “Have a fancactus New Year.”

I wanted to make up some cactus jokes for the comedy show, but it seems that I’m not that sharp.

Puns about Cactus That Are Prickling Funny

Puns about Cactus That Are Prickling Funny

Who doesn’t actually love good puns, especially the puns that are related to the prickly plants with adorable appearance? If you want to give away a cactus or own ones, then you have a chance to crack joke by telling cute cactus puns. Below is a great list containing puns related to cactus that is worth to share on your Facebook, Instagram, or email.

You prickle my fancy.

I’d never desert you.

These cactus puns are totally on point.

We wish you a merry cactmus.

Grab life by the thorns.

The little cactus picked lots of food off his plate before he started eating. He was a prickly eater.

There was a succulent in the neighborhood shaped like a cat, and its name was Catcus. It greeted everyone by making purrickly sounds.

A cactus came running to his friend to tell him that he saw someone try to steal the tub they liked. He said, “I saw him take it away. Before my very cacti.”

Two cacti were having a conversation about the cactus in their school who never listened to anybody. One of them said, “I tried talking to him, but it’s like banging my head against a prick wall.”

The cactus decided to take up acupuncture as a profession. It wasn’t the most prick-tical choice, but he made it work.

It rained in the desert after two long years. The rainwater was prickling down the side of the succulents.

The cactus needed something to cover his pointy ends before he went to the balloon festival. So he went and spiked a deal with the shopkeeper to give him something for a low price.

The cactus showed the puzzle to her big brother when she couldn’t solve it, no matter how much she tried. She just wanted a fresh cact-eye to look at it.

The wife cactus was upset, and when the husband asked her what happened, she told him, “You’ve been taking me for planted.”

The cactus couple loved their new apartment. They were very happy occuplants.

When the little cactus won her first trophy in school, she came back home shouting to everyone, “I have some plantastic news.”

A cactus can survive for a while without any water. So they have plant-y of life in them even if it doesn’t rain for quite some time in the desert.

We watched a thriller movie about a cactus the other day that had an amazing twist at the end of it. My dad said afterward, “Well, that had a spiketacular ending.”

The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology.

A cactus once won 100,000 dollars in a lottery, but while he was going to pick the money up, he lost the ticket. The prickle finger of fate was certainly cruel to him.

The dad cactus wanted to dress up like a porcupine. He said, “That’ll just prickle my fancy.”

A group of cacti was going to a music show, and one of their friends was late. So they called him and said, “Will you please come prickly?”

We went to the comedy show last week where a comedian told many cactus jokes. It was not all that it was cactus to be.

A cactus once accidentally broke the favorite tub of another cactus. So the second cactus came to him and said, “Hey, I have a bone to prick with you.”

The cactus was going through a rough patch. His neighbor tried to brighten her up by saying, “Hey, things might be rough, but you are still blooming.”

Jokes and One-Liners Related to Cactus That Are Hilarious

Jokes and One-Liners Related to Cactus That Are Hilarious

Amongst all other plants, cactus is probably the easiest species to make a pun from. Their unique thorny visual characteristic presents a very big opportunity to create hilarious jokes. Take a look at these funny cactus puns on the following list and save them to share whenever the time and opportunity allow you to.

The worst thing about dropping a cactus is catching it.

I know there’s something wrong with my cactus, but I just can’t put my finger on it.

Why did the cactus cross the road? It got stuck to the chicken.

Why do coyotes howl in the night? Because they can only see the cacti in the day.

What did the boy cactus say to the girl cactus? We make a prickly pair.

What did the porcupine say to the cactus? Is that you, Dad?

What do you call a cactus on a plane? A cactus. It doesn’t matter where it is, it’s still a cactus!

Is there something wrong with your cactus? Yes, but I can’t put my finger on it.

What’s the one job you shouldn’t give a cactus at your birthday party if he asks how he can help? Blowing up the balloons!

Why is it so hard to come up with a cactus joke? Because it is such a thorny problem.

What did the boy cactus say to the girl cactus? You prickle my fancy.

Why didn’t the cactus have friends? He was a bit prickly.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Needles. Needles who? Needles and pins.

They can only see the cacti in the day. What did the cactus say when he was robbing the bank?

What does a cactus wear to a business meeting? A cac-tie.

Cactus makes perfect.

I can be a little prickly.

I’m in a prickle.

I’m on pins and needles.

Cactus puns are succulent.

Stick with it.

I’m getting up to scratch.

I’m just pricking up the pieces.

Cactus puns get to the point.

Never drought my love for you.

I’m glad I pricked you.

Let’s stick together.

I’m ready to take it from “cacti” to “cactus.”

Life would succ without you.

Sup succa.

We make a prickly pear.

There is hardly anything more amusing and delightful than being the reason why your beloved ones smile. One of the ways to do so is by sharing quirky cactus puns with them. The list above is created specifically for your treat, so feel free to use your favorite jokes out of all of them.

Leave a Reply