95 Happy New Year Funny Messages, Wishes and Quotes

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Sharing some happy New Year funny messages is the perfect way to start the new chapter of your life in this exact time. To approach the upcoming year with positive attitude, you may send some humorous new years sayings to your closest persons and loved ones. Below you will find some hilarious ideas to put on your text or greeting card to celebrate the occasion.

That being said, sending funny New Year wishes is not the only way to celebrate it. Here are some ideas to make New Year more exciting:

  • Join open air event – Through these events, you may enjoy love performances of DJs, musicians, and see fireworks on NY countdown.
  • Go to formal celebration – There are plenty of restaurant and hotels that catered galas during the New Year eve. Here you can enjoy jazz, orchestra band, or professional musician performances.
  • Throw a house party – If you aren’t feeling to celebrate the New Year outside, then you may opt to invite some people to your house.

According to a data research, over 50% people create resolution of New Year, such as to quit smoking, lose weight, save money, get a raise and promotion, or work out. However, the same study shows that about 80% of the resolutions will be abandoned by the second month of the year. That’s why you might need to approach the new year in a more lighthearted way rather than to take it so seriously.

Sharing New Years Eve quotes can make the celebration is more exciting. It can be more fun than just simple New Year messages and make a better way to spread the laugh. Share the joy that you feel during the New Year by sending these ideas of funny happy New Year texts in the list below.

Funny Happy New Year Wishes and Quotes

**_Before I get drunk, dance on the bar, lose my phone, get naked and get arrested, let me wish you a Happy New Year!

**_Happy New Year! Let’s eat, drink, and be merry – for tomorrow we diet!

**_Happy New Year! Here’s to living on the edge a little more in 2022. As Hunter S. Thompson said: Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

**_Happy New Year! I don’t know about you, but my New Year’s resolution is to stop feeling guilty about not keeping last year’s resolution.

**_A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

**_May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall! – Aleister Crowley

**_A new year. A fresh, clean start! It’s like having a big white sheet of paper to draw on! A day full of possibilities! – Bill Watterson

**_An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. – Bill Vaughn

**_Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. – Bill Vaughan

**_Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since. – Dave Beard

**_Happy New Year! I can’t believe another year has passed so quickly. In the words of Michael Altshuler, “The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot!”

**_My New Year’s resolution was going to be to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me – no one likes a quitter. Happy New Year!

**_Remember when we were younger and just wanted to stay up on New Year’s Eve? Now all we want to do is sleep!

**_Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy. But enough about me, here’s to you – Happy New Year!

**_May all of your troubles last as long as my New Years resolutions! Happy New Year!

Funny New Year Messages

Pick your favorite greetings of New Year with hilarious tone from the list below. They might get someone to roll their eyes, but some puns and memes won’t hurt anyone. Instead, the funny new years quotes will make many people engage and relate with you.

**_All I wish to get drunk and dance with you all night long on this 31st night, Happy New Year!

**_Wishing you successful 12 months, Joyful 52 weeks, lovely 365 days, memorable 8760 hours, blessings of 525600 minutes and happiest 31536000 seconds. Happy New Year!

**_I hope this year ends up with your smiling selfie to see on the Facebook posts. Wish you a bright and joyful New Year!

**_I saved you from spending a fortune on a New Year’s party – I sent you an invitation for an online party!

**_I hope this new year brings you joy and happiness because oh lord you look so ugly when you end up crying. I don’t want to witness that ever again.

**_Happy New Year! I can save you from spending a good amount of fortune on New Year’s Eve. So, what’s in it for me? Spill. Or else you are going to suffer so much.

**_Before I get drunk, dance on the bar, lose my phone, get naked and get arrested, Let me wish you a Happy New Year.

**_Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, Salman Khan, Jennifer Lopez, Amitabh Bachchan and Me. All the stars wish you a very happy new year.

**_If I had done you wrong, I am sorry. May you still give me a chance this New Year to do it over and over again. Happy New Year!

**_I’m gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say I ordered this a year ago, lol.

**_This New Year, be at peace with your appearance, you are perfectly in shape – round is a shape in geometry!

**_I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year. Happy New Year!

**_As you turn a new leaf in your Book of Life with the advent of New Year, here is wishing you the addition of meaningful chapters. Happy New Year 2022!

**_May this New Year bring actual change in you – not the recurrence of old habits in a new package.

**_My New Year’s resolution is to eat less so that I can be sexier. But whenever I see your fat body, I guess I am already successful with my resolution so I won’t do it anymore. Happy New Year to you!

**_They say pain and tears help one to be stronger, So I am wishing you more tears and pain. For you to become even stronger than last year. Happy New Year!

**_It’s the thing that satisfies your mind, body and soul! Do it on the bed, on a sofa, in the car or anywhere! It’s called Prayer! God bless your naughty mind. Happy new year!

**_As the clock strikes twelve, may you have the stamina to wish all of your in-numerous Facebook Friends a Happy New Year.

**_My new years resolution is 1920 x 1080.

**_A New Year means you will be a little bit older but not any wiser than today! Alas!

**_This Year may your hair and teeth, your face-lift, abs and stocks not fall, may your blood pressure, your cholesterol, white blood count, and mortgage interest not rise. Happy New Year!

**_Happy New Year! Spoiler alert–it’s going to feel the same.

**_May your trips and tricks work amazing for you in this upcoming year. Stay sane and sober.

**_Listen, I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anyone. So, apologize to me till you have your chance. Happy New Year.

**_If you were born in September, it is better to assume that your parents started their new year successfully.

**_The most fun part about making New Year’s resolutions is breaking New Year’s resolutions. Can’t wait to mess up with you.

Hilarious Text to Send on New Year

The year is coming to a close. If you’re planning to have some celebration, don’t forget to include those who aren’t physically close to you by sharing these happy New Year funny messages. You may use them on text or put them as caption to accompany your Instagram post. Bid goodbye to the year by creative and laugh inducing funny New Year words.

**_Phew, finally this year is coming to an end. Can’t wait to start fresh! You and I promised each other we would get on a healthy routine to feel good. No more late nights: from now on we’re going to bed at 9pm! We will see if we can hold onto that… 😂 Happy New Year to you!

**_A New Year is always exciting! Just as much as our restaurant meetups. Happy New Year you big child, I hope you’ll make your dreams come true this year. Xxx have a great New Year’s Eve.

**_Champaign, chocolate, foie gras… yummy! Isn’t the best time of the year because we can eat non stop? 😉 Food lover that you are, I know you agree with me. Happy New Year and get wild on the food!

**_I miss you so much! Happy New Year my little Ferrero Rocher, I wish I could eat tons of chocolate while watching Christmas movies with you. That’s living! Kisses, see you soon I hope.

**_3, 2, 1… Happy Birthday! Uh, crap, Happy New Year! Stay healthy. All my best wishes for this coming year. I hope your sense of humour will improve and also your music taste. Oh come on, you can take a joke. 🙂 Happy New Year buddy.

**_Hello you! Are you interested in celebrating New Years Eve twice? Let’s fly to Sydney and escape to Los Angeles afterwards. It would be such an incredible memory and a magical moment. If not this year, then the next one. Happy New Year. <3

**_If you could reincarnate yourself in an animal next year, what would it be? I think I’d choose a leopard. You want to know why? Because no need to go shopping, I would be wearing the most glamorous outfit ever, everyday! I hope you will have a great eve. Happy New Year!

**_I know that you are as happy as me to see this year finish. I hope you’ll enjoy this new year. Although, calm down on the red wine! 😂 Best wishes for this New Year. Xxx

Funny New Year Wishes

**_New years are like restart buttons. You think you can push the button and start things all over again but then realize your life is too messed up to be restarted fresh!

**_A new year doesn’t come to change your life. It comes to remind you that one more year has gone and you’re still the same useless moron who thinks he can make his resolutions come true!

**_I would quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

**_No resolution for the New Year, as I like my love in the state it is- criticizing and annoying you will go on the high range!

**_So excited for you guys to ruin another year of your life. Have a merry and Happy New Year.

**_Happy new year! This year may finally realize that real fun in life comes from real people, not from the virtual ones. Have a great year!

**_If all the heartbreaks and troubles from the last year didn’t make you strong, let me wish one more year full of agony and tears. I really want you to be stronger. Happy new year!

**_Here’s a new year wish from a wise fellow asking you to donate more of your wealth so they can be spent by the right hands. Happy new year!

**_I hope you make a revolution of losing 20 pounds in the coming year and gain 30 pounds more instead. Wish you a New Year full of positivity!

**_May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pains. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person.

**_Happy New Year! It is midnight already, and you are getting old – just go to sleep!

**_I’m so excited for the new year. Unfortunately, I don’t have any resolutions to make since I’m already perfect.

**_A new year doesn’t stop the ghosts from your past mistake coming back to haunt you. So, if you think you’re over it, you’re wrong. Happy new year!

**_The funniest part of a new year is making new resolutions. I am pretty sure you have one too. Let me know about your resolution and I’ll try not to laugh as I did in the last year.

**_God is kind enough to give you a new year but not so kind to give you a new life. Happy new year 2022!

**_Here’s a new year wish for you before the network gets jammed. I hope you’re having great fun. Wishing you a successful year ahead!

**_Let us celebrate this New Year’s Eve in honor of the time we successfully wasted this year.

**_Life is short and every new year makes it even shorter. Happy new year! You just waved goodbye to one more year of your short life!

**_New years are like pages in a book that’s so boring. You always think that the next page will be interesting, but it turns out to be the same every time. Happy new year!

**_It’s a new year once again and it’s the same old life you’re living once again. What is there to celebrate?

**_Happy new year! How’d it be if instead of bringing happiness, joy, and peace, new year’s brought cash, fame and champagne?

**_Though I am wishing a very happy New Year, but remember you still have the same old husband!

**_Happy New Year from someone adorable, handsome, intelligent, and wants to see you smiling always.

Funny New Year Quotes

**_“It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” – William Thomas

**_“New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” – Mark Twain

**_“I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years.” – Henry Moore

**_“New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.” – Charles Lamb

**_“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” – Oscar Wilde

**_It is a New Year wish from someone intelligent, beautiful and sexy; I want to see you always happy!

**_I hope you can carry on your resolution to not smoking for a long day this New Year!

**_This Year, I wish your neighbor does not ask you to babysit his tantrum-throwing daughter on weekends. Happy New Year!

**_This New Year hope you are not tempted to pile up on health food cookbooks and then end up heating frozen food at mealtimes.

**_Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.

**_May you have a New Year full of rocking things that never happened before! Cheers to another year of life!

**_Always keep a smile, forget the tears, enjoy the laughter, and set aside the fear; wish you an amazing year!

**_May you become a billionaire this year, as I have dreamt that you are going to gift me a bungalow! Have a prosperous New Year!

Joyful and Humorous Words of New Year Celebration

One way to bring out more humor to your life on this upcoming year is by sending new years funny card to your loved ones. These messages in the list below will help to start the year on the lighter notes and let people know that it’s okay to not take life extremely seriously all the time.

**_I hope you will not spend the first day of the new year sleeping on the couch. May God give you the strength to fight with laziness. Happy new year!

**_Have some faith in me, this year just like the previous ones- I will be your partner in crime.

**_Welcome the New Year with your ugly smile and scare all the evils away. Have a great year ahead.

**_Have a tremendous New Year while giving everyone a hard time apart from me. Cheers to that.

**_You have so many things to gain this year including success, fame, and wisdom. Don’t just focus on gaining weight instead. Happy new year dear friend!

**_May you learn to use your brain in the coming year. It’s a wonder that you got through all these years without having one. Happy new year!

**_I hope you lose so much weight this year that you can take group selfies with more people on the frame. Happy new year!

**_I hope you will finally pay off all the debts you owe to me for making my life miserable. Looking forward to that, best wishes.

**_Hope you will not be bothered with New Year’s resolutions this year as well. May God bless you, friend.

**_This year, you may pick up your phone more often, praying to God for this miracle. I wish you a Happy New Year, mate.

**_I wish God give you more money to help the poor and less money to spend on junk foods. Wishing you a healthy and disease-free year!

New Year is the time where you say farewell to the past year, but it doesn’t mean that you cannot sprinkle some humor on the celebrations. These happy New Year sayings above provide you with some witty and hilarious ideas of words to put on your New Year’s cards and make others smile when reading them.

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